Let's not forget
It's my honeymoon. I want to make it special. How can I fly first class without paying for it? Answer - you can't. If your future together is so dependent on flying first class on your honeymoon, get out of the relationship now and don't get married in the first place.
Check my math - I am doing a challenge. Answer - buy a calculator if you cannot add. This is not rocket science.
And my personal favorite -
AA stole valuables from my checked bags. Answer - You are an idiot. First you checked a bag, so we know that you're stupid. Then you claim to have put "valuables" in said bag, which you should have never checked in the first place. Don't get me started.