Heavy-duty storks.

My elk are very respectful and have never been the cause of any complaints at Hampton Inns, other than some noise from guys in late fall. And I can guarantee that they've never left pubic hairs in coffee makers.

I'm very sorry about Mikey. Although he reports to me, he refuses to take any direction whatsoever. We might have to adopt a relationship that focuses more on carrots and sticks.

 

now there is a pretty thought....

 

Since you are posting so rarely, I'll do all of my Jewish jokes now:



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a beautiful young woman knocking on Dovster's hotel room door all night! He finally had to let her out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dov just got back from a pleasure trip. He took his ex-mother-in-law to the airport.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor answers "That's what puzzles me!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dov: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bum asked a Jewish fellow, "Give me $10 till payday." The Jewish fellow responded, "When's payday?" The bum said, "I don't know! You're the one that's working!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?
A: It's called "Debbie Does Dishes."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What's a Jewish American Princess's favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdales
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answered. "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part is it? The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
"Force yourself," she replied.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

That's kinda funny......I forgot whether, or not, I previously posted it. Someone sent it to me this AM and up it went. There is more truth in that joke than almost every joke that any of us have heard or told

And, you all know I never look at post counts or mile posts...Oh well

 

You know me Also, being knocked out for an angiogram yesterday didn't help much.

And, yes, thank God everything is A-OK

 

Welcome to The Lounge™, PrineSwine!

 

MikeMpls has elk??? Can we see pictures?

 

Congrat's to Gargoyle's on his additional position as Lounge Milepost Award Auditor.

Additionally, we're going to ask the V.P./Security Director, scoow, the Senior Assistant Security Director, tkey75 and the General-at-Arms, DLFan, to standby in the event that we have to detain or incarcerate mikey1003 for his alleged jury-rigging of the last two esteemed Milepost Awards.

After that bit of required housekeeping, here's the latest and greatest:

Founder, General Manager, Grand Poohba and Chairman of the Bored Emeritus
Canarsie

Chairman of the Board
Randy Petersen

Assistant General Managers
obscure2k, RSSrsvp

Envoy Extraordinaire and Ambassador Plenipotentiary
BEYFlyer

Food and Beverage Manager and Chief Wine Steward
monitor

Lame-o Secretary of Entertainment/Lounge Comedic Talent Agent
tkey75

Lounge Disco Manager
dedehans

Resident Musician
Dr. braefoot

Lounge Psychologist/Neuropsychologist/Dementia Detector
gsw

Resident Sculptor/Art Director/Museum of Monstrosities Curator
Gargoyle

........Lounge Vampire
........Abby

........loungedragon
........graraps

Lounge Historian
scoow

Lounge Oddsmaker/CGO (Chief Gambling Officer)
SlowTrekker

Lounge Milepost Award Auditor
Gargoyle


Vice-President/Security Director/Lounge Judge Advocate General
scoow

Senior Assistant Security Director
tkey75

General-at-Arms and Lounge Bouncer
DLfan

Official Lounge Doxie
Missy64

Dirty Old Man Emeritus
Dovster

Human/Animal Resources Directors
RSSrsvp
Cholula

Lounge Birthday Crier
Alysia

Lounge Technology Director
Missy64/Abby

Lounge DJ
iCorpRoadie

Lounge Chaplain
skchin

Chief Hot Sauce Purveyor Emeritus and Chairman of the Lieberwurst Society
Cholula

Lounge Hurricane Tracker
indufan

Lounge Handyman
MRKEY

Lounge Pimp
iCorpRoadie

Vice-President/Beverages and Chief Intoxicologist
Abby

........Bartender I
........Alaska Cable Guy(Biff/Buff)

........Bartender II
........Alaska Cable Guy(Jake/Jock)


Kitchen Manager
Cornroaster

Head Chef
jfe

Sous Chef
Missy64

Dishwasher
Traveller

Lounge Receptionist
abelscc

Lounge Janitor
Position Open

Restroom Attendant/Towel Boy
underpressure

Deputy Assistant Towel Boy
GUWonder

2nd Deputy Assistant Towel Boy
aucarol

Assistant Lounge Curmudgeon
MikeMpls

........Chief Lounge Curmudgeon and Director of Lame-o Lounge Complaints
........mikey1003

 

I throw myself at the mercy of the court.......

 

If Mikey gets sent to jail, do the inmates have access to the internet?

 

Merci, merci. Good to be here.

Looking at the current state of affairs, dare I call it a scandal, surrounding post #29000...it seems ironic or perhaps hypocritical to fault him for working the system in order to hit that magic number. We praise him for a good milage run, but scold him for a forum run?
I myself was just thinking of a nice posting blitz! Here's my itinerary: DL Forum Lounge-S.P.A.M.-Travel with Children-Delta Board of Directors To Vote On Formal Merger Talks With UA or NW.

Maybe the powers that be should make some particularly meaningful threads have a value of 1.5 posts per entry. Silly to have to suffer through all these posts to reach status through BAK (butt at keyboard) posting. Isn't there a FT co-branded AMEX card that will let me rack up my post count without actually engaging in witty banter or helpful discussions?
Enough of wondering what the Medallion Marketplace holds (SkyMall Factory Seconds), I say there needs to be a companion thread devoted to finding out what the mysterious Coupon Connection holds for those dedicated FT'ers!

 

Of course! Why would we not want him to continue to incriminate himself? We can make Mikey the permanent lounge whipping boy.

 

I thought that was The Dovster

PrineSwine, welcome to the Lounge.....Do you want to be my attorney?

 

Mikey wouldn't know a Mileage Run if it bit him on the butt but you do raise a good point. What makes a Forum Run anymore egregious (LOVE that word ) than a Mileage Run?

There are some mitigating circumstances here and Mikey has exhibited a bit of remorse.

So we'll take that all into consideration at the upcoming hearing.

 

If Mikey gets sent to jail, internet access is not the access he will be concerned about them having.