I just love a woman who knows what to do with her legs

 

Pick on my helper and friend if you must, but I just saw the press conference you gave on the court house steps. Shame on you Dog Pee Watcher

.
Here is a Q&A that DPW shamed himself by trying to steal the limelight:

Press: Where can men or women over the age of 60 find young, sexy members of the opposite sex who are sexually interested in them?

DPW: Try a bookstore under fiction

Press: My wife is going through menopause. What can I do?
DPW: : Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Press: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
DPW: : Tell him you're pregnant.

Press: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
DPW: : The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.

Press: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
DPW: : Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Press: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
DPW: : Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Press: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
DPW: : Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Press: Where do 60+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
DPW: : Their foreheads.

Press: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
DPW: : 'I remember these


Press: Mr. DPW: , you seem to be very familiar with the problems of aging

DPW: Yes, I'm afraid that they all affect me....I should drop this silly trial before I forget everything I know.

 

Most certainly is, gsw....but what else can you expect from a Princeton guy?

And back to Mikey1003's trial..........I could have sworn I saw a tease about it featuring all the key players for an upcoming Nancy Grace show.

 

Yes...all the occupants of the BB have been asked, and it has been answered just as you report.

 

Song of the day:

"Walk this way - Aerosmith & Run DMC"

 

speaking of which:
Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?
Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!

 

My Name Is Alice Smith And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My
First Appointment With A New Dentist. I Noticed His Dds Diploma, Which
Bore His Full Name.

Suddenly, I Remembered A Tall, Handsome, Dark-haired Boy With The Same
Name Had Been In My High School Class Almost 40 Years Ago. Could He Be
The Same Guy That I Had A Secret Crush On, Way Back Then? Upo N Seeing
Him, However, I Quickly Discarded Any Such Thought.

This Balding, Gray-haired Man With The Deeply Lined Face Was Way Too Old
To Have Been My Classmate. After He Examined My Teeth, I Asked Him If He
Had Attended Morgan Park High Schoo L.

"yes. Yes, I Did. I'm A Mustang," He Gleamed With Pride.

"when Did You Graduate?" I Asked.

He Answered, "in 1969. Why Do You Ask?"

"you Were In My Class!" I Exclaimed.
He Looked At Me Closely. Then, That Ugly, Old, Bald, Wrinkled, Fat ...,
Gray-haired, Decrepit Son-of-a-..... Asked, "what Did You Teach?"

 

I knew it would take me a while, but I finally found a picture of the dude who dumped aucarol.

 

Which makes it easier for you all to understand why I was so distraught with grief. I sure do miss him, with his sense of style. He was the life of every party, too. Now I'm sad again....

 

Q: What's the difference between a hillbilly wedding and a hillbilly funeral?
A: There's one less drunk at the funeral.

 

Song of the hour:

"Sweet Southern Comfort - Buddy Jewel"

 

this is work being the DJ and the Lounge Joke poster!!! Boy, anyone have any songs or jokes they want to hear? Taking reque$t$.

Do we have an updated lounge responsibilities list somewhere? I forget all that I was assigned.

 

updated lounge responsibilities

 

A young uneducated hill-billy, fresh from the Alabama back woods, applied for a job in an office. After the interview, he left and went back to his friend Bubba's trailer.

Bubba asked, "How'd it go?"

The guy answered, "First part was smooth. But she wanted to see my testimonials. So I showed 'em and she freaked. There went da job."

 

For Mikey:

The Juice a la Seuss, by John Forster

Also, just for fun:

"And we're sincere, right down to our veneer!"
-- John Forster, "Way Down Deep (You're Shallow)"