The Delta Forum Lounge Thread Everybody is Welcome! 2005-2018
Mar 30, 2010 | 5:00 am
In Memoriam
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 35,555
Southern Humor
Frum Alabama...
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and
paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,"
the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"
they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter.
"But I figured no one is gonna steal Henry!"
===========================================
Frum Georgia...
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused
about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary
for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said,
"You graduated from the University of Georgia
and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."
============================================
Frum Louisiana...
A senior was overheard saying,
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana."
When asked why, he said, "because everything happens in Louisiana
20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."
===============================================
Frum Mississippi...
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store
and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied,
"Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered,
"I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
=================================================
Frum Texas
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire,
pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by
and was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied,
"I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked,
"But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded,
"When you break down they tell you to put
flares in the front and flares in the back.
I never did understand it neither."
================================================== =====
Frum Tennessee...
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.
The trooper asked,
"Got any ID?"
The driver replied,
"Bout whut?"
================================================== ======
Frum Alabama...
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked,
"Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?
Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep", he replied.
"That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and
paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,"
the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"
they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter.
"But I figured no one is gonna steal Henry!"
===========================================
Frum Georgia...
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused
about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary
for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said,
"You graduated from the University of Georgia
and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."
============================================
Frum Louisiana...
A senior was overheard saying,
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana."
When asked why, he said, "because everything happens in Louisiana
20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."
===============================================
Frum Mississippi...
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store
and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied,
"Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered,
"I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
=================================================
Frum Texas
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire,
pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by
and was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied,
"I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked,
"But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded,
"When you break down they tell you to put
flares in the front and flares in the back.
I never did understand it neither."
================================================== =====
Frum Tennessee...
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.
The trooper asked,
"Got any ID?"
The driver replied,
"Bout whut?"
================================================== ======
Frum Alabama...
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked,
"Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?
Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep", he replied.
"That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."
Mar 30, 2010 | 6:09 am
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Mar 30, 2010 | 7:41 am
Join Date: Sep 2005
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Posts: 4,526
Frum Alabama...
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and
paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,"
the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"
they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter.
"But I figured no one is gonna steal Henry!"
===========================================
Frum Georgia...
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused
about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary
for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said,
"You graduated from the University of Georgia
and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."
============================================
Frum Louisiana...
A senior was overheard saying,
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana."
When asked why, he said, "because everything happens in Louisiana
20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."
===============================================
Frum Mississippi...
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store
and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied,
"Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered,
"I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
=================================================
Frum Texas
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire,
pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by
and was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied,
"I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked,
"But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded,
"When you break down they tell you to put
flares in the front and flares in the back.
I never did understand it neither."
================================================== =====
Frum Tennessee...
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.
The trooper asked,
"Got any ID?"
The driver replied,
"Bout whut?"
================================================== ======
Frum Alabama...
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked,
"Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?
Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep", he replied.
"That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and
paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,"
the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"
they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter.
"But I figured no one is gonna steal Henry!"
===========================================
Frum Georgia...
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused
about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary
for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said,
"You graduated from the University of Georgia
and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."
============================================
Frum Louisiana...
A senior was overheard saying,
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana."
When asked why, he said, "because everything happens in Louisiana
20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."
===============================================
Frum Mississippi...
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store
and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied,
"Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered,
"I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
=================================================
Frum Texas
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire,
pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by
and was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied,
"I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked,
"But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded,
"When you break down they tell you to put
flares in the front and flares in the back.
I never did understand it neither."
================================================== =====
Frum Tennessee...
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.
The trooper asked,
"Got any ID?"
The driver replied,
"Bout whut?"
================================================== ======
Frum Alabama...
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked,
"Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?
Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep", he replied.
"That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."
Double groan
Mar 30, 2010 | 8:29 am
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Mar 30, 2010 | 9:16 am
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Mar 30, 2010 | 10:21 am
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Mar 30, 2010 | 10:28 am
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Mar 30, 2010 | 10:45 am
Join Date: Apr 2009
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Wirelessly posted (BlackBerry8330/4.5.0.175 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1 VendorID/105)
Apparently, my neighbor emailed me to let me know that my yard is now a lake...
...I wonder if we can have Lounge regattas?
...I wonder if we can have Lounge regattas?
Mar 30, 2010 | 11:16 am
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Mar 30, 2010 | 11:49 am
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Last edited by Italy98; Mar 30, 2010 at 2:19 pm Reason: clarity
Mar 30, 2010 | 12:12 pm
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First you must ascertain if jfe has already taken control of The Regatta. If so, then regretfully no regatta for you.
Mar 30, 2010 | 12:57 pm
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Yiron, Israel
Programs: Bates Motel Plat
Posts: 68,970
Mar 30, 2010 | 1:37 pm
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Yiron, Israel
Programs: Bates Motel Plat
Posts: 68,970
Sad to say, I was shocked and dismayed by the behavior of a young saleswoman this evening.
I took my son into the nearby town of Rosh Pina to have dinner and to treat him to some new clothes. The saleswoman, who was perhaps two or three years younger than him, and incredibly built, flirted with him shamelessly all the time that we were there.
I considered this to be in very poor taste on her part. After all, I was the one who was paying -- she should have been hitting on me!
I took my son into the nearby town of Rosh Pina to have dinner and to treat him to some new clothes. The saleswoman, who was perhaps two or three years younger than him, and incredibly built, flirted with him shamelessly all the time that we were there.
I considered this to be in very poor taste on her part. After all, I was the one who was paying -- she should have been hitting on me!
Mar 30, 2010 | 2:02 pm
In Memoriam
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 35,555
Mar 30, 2010 | 3:09 pm
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twilight Zone
Programs: One Star 'n Sky
Posts: 1,200
Forget about the foolish saleswoman and say hello to a co-ed from UGA:
Chalomot Tovim
Chalomot Tovim